Pride is the belief that I am separate from what is, rather than at one with it. And what arises out of that confusion is a misunderstanding of what I control. When I am in pride I mistakenly credit myself or take responsibility for things beyond my control. That’s why they call it a “deadly sin.” It kills my sense of peace and oneness with what is.
If I think I control things I’m not in control of, I blame myself when things go awry. And let’s face it: the default setting of the world is “awry.” So sooner or later I end up hating myself for how shitty things have gone. That’s another danger of pride. It sets me up for self-hatred.
The only things to be proud of are the things over which I have complete control (which is almost nothing: only things that come from inside me ...and not even very many of those things).
Be PROUD you offered a kind helping hand.
Be GRATEFUL they took it and put it to good use.
Be PROUD you showed up at the party.
Be GRATEFUL you were well received.
Be PROUD you went to bed on time.
Be GRATEFUL you feel fresh in the morning.
Be PROUD you conducted yourself authentically and wholeheartedly in the interview.
Be GRATEFUL they offered you the job.
Be PROUD that you submitted your artwork.
Be GRATEFUL you were granted a solo show.
Be PROUD you supported your director and scene partners with careful preparation and presence in the scene.
Be GRATEFUL the Academy gave you an Oscar.
Putting pride in its rightful place means not making goals of things beyond my control: not shooting for the top award, the solo show, the acceptance of my help, or the admiration of others, but instead focusing on goals related to the wholehearted expression of my being.
It means not taking credit or responsibility for results (good or bad) that could not possibly have been controlled by me. But instead taking responsibility only for the alignment of my actions with my intentions in the present moment (and not the past...which is no longer in my control and certainly not the future...which isn’t controllable by anybody because it isn’t even a thing).