If I’m interested in moving out of suffering, the first question to answer is: Do I still want to suffer? Because sometimes I think suffering is necessary. If I do, then it’s not time. As long as I want to suffer. I will have suffering.
I find that I have wanted to suffer because I held some deep-seated value and I thought the best way to honor that value was to suffer for it. I thought my suffering was proof of my dedication to the cause and that, by displaying dedication in the face of suffering, I showed the world how good I was and was the only way to achieve victory in service of that value.
I have come to believe that this is total confusion.
Suffering is not required to serve a cause, it’s an impediment to it. Suffering clouds my vision, frays my nerves, saps my energy and narrows my apparent options. Always.
If I want to suffer to help a friend, I will have suffering (and a friend who still needs help).
If I want to suffer to save the world, I will have suffering (and a world that still continues to need saving).
If I want to suffer in order to belong, I will have suffering (and still continue to feel like an outsider).
If I want to suffer to demonstrate my worthiness to myself, I will have suffering (and still continue to feel unworthy).
If I want to suffer to conquer evil, I will have suffering (and still continue to experience evil).
If I want to suffer to conquer my own suffering, I will have suffering (not conquered suffering).
When I’m NOT suffering, I can see more clearly, process more evenly, endure more hardships for longer, and choose from a greater range of options to serve my cause.
If I want to suffer, I will have suffering. There is no way to escape suffering through suffering. Just as there is no way to escape the darkness through darkness. I need light for that.
If I want to stop suffering, the only way to do it is to question the thought that I need things to be different than they are. And when I do, I find the world clears up.
If I really want to help a friend, I can do the work to emerge from suffering and see all the ways I help without trying and that my help is effortless. It’s part of my true nature.
If I really want to save the world, I can do the work to emerge from suffering and discover that I am already the hero I’m striving to be, that saving the world just comes naturally to me. It’s part of my true nature.
If I really want to belong, I can do the work to emerge from suffering and find that I do belong, have always belonged, will always belong. It’s part of my true nature.
If I really want to feel worthy, I can do the work to emerge from suffering and see that my worthiness is not tied to acts, that when I recognize my inherent worthiness, my acts align perfectly with the benevolent universe. It’s part of my true nature.
If I really want to conquer evil, I can do the work to emerge from suffering and find that there is no evil in the world, only a confusion born of suffering. And when I’m free of my confusion about it, evil dissolves all around me. It’s part of my true nature.
If I really want to conquer my own suffering, I can only do it by getting crystal clear about whether or not I need what is to be different than it is. Nothing else will do it. And nothing else is required.
The only way to serve reality is to surrender my argument with it and live freely out of my infinitely helpful, caring, belonging, worthy, non-suffering true nature.
Until I’m ready to do that. I will have suffering.