I don’t think.
I am presented thoughts. They just drift through my stream of consciousness.
My experience of the world is determined by what I filter out of this stream. It’s a function of which thoughts I grab and hold onto and which thoughts I let drift by.
I used to hold onto stressful thoughts and let peaceful thoughts drift by.
My reasoning was that peaceful thoughts didn’t need my attention. They’re fine. They’re already taken care of.
The thoughts that needed my attention were the ones that contained problems. As I saw it, it was my consciousness alerting me to things that needed fixing. I needed to grab these stressful thoughts and let them guide me so I could fix what they said needed fixing and bring peace to myself and others. If I didn't, follow my stressful thoughts, then things would stay broken.
But I find that that practice never brought me any lasting peace. Nothing ever seemed to stay fixed and often I would find I’d often screw things up that were already fine as they were.
As soon as I fixed a problem, here came another one. I’d grab it and fix it and then here came another one. I’d fix and fix and fix and never escape the sense that something - something - was wrong. Until I grew tired of living in a world where nothing worked as it should and I was forced to reconsider the effectiveness of my approach.
Rather than buy into my stressful thoughts and treat them like the truth, instead of fixing what they told me to fix, I learned to address the stressful thought itself, to look at the thought as it drifted into my consciousness and ask myself, “Is it true?”
When I finally began to question my stressful thoughts, I came to see that I could never absolutely verify if any thought is objectively true or false, which means that nothing is ever verifiably broken, which means that I can never absolutely know that what I think is wrong is actually wrong.
I had to admit that “broken” is an opinion. That there is no objective “broken,” only “thought-to-be-broken.”
And whenever I think the thought, “broken,” I have broken. But when I don’t, I don’t. If I can’t think the thought, “broken,” how can I ever experience brokenness?
If my goal is a peaceful life (which, at the moment, it appears to be), I cannot build one by collecting stressful thoughts. I can only build a stressful life that way. That’s my experience. If I want a peaceful life I can only find it by collecting peaceful thoughts.
I can adjust my life by working with my filter. And in that, I have complete control over my quality of life. It all comes down to what thoughts I pull out of the stream to hold onto.
If my goal is a peaceful life, it’s here for me. All I have to do is grab, hold onto and believe the peaceful thoughts and let everything else drift by.
If my goal is a fun life, it’s here for me. All I have to do is grab, hold onto and believe the fun thoughts and let everything else drift by.
If my goal is a charmed life, it’s here for me. All I have to do is grab, hold onto and believe the charmed thoughts and let everything else drift by.
If my goal is a financially secure life, it’s here for me. All I have to do is grab, hold onto and believe thoughts that confirm my financial security and let everything else drift by.
If my goal is a stressful life, it’s here for me. All I have to do is grab, hold onto and believe the stressful thoughts and let everything else drift by.