I used to think, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” meant, “Be nice: put others first.” which is fine if not taken to the extreme, but I was missing a far more powerful message: that I have the power to create the entire world and the key to that power is revealed to me in what I wish others would do unto me.
What I believe the Golden Rule is really advising is this:
“The world is your mirror. It’s a projection of your state of mind, reflected back at you. Your experience of the world is you, reflected back to you.”
“When you find yourself wanting someone to do something unto you, you are looking in the mirror and asking it of yourself. So if you offer the very thing you’re seeking out into the world, you will instantly have it.”
If I want you to be generous with me, it’s because I feel like I don’t have enough.
When I am generous with you, I recognize that I have more than enough for myself, and so I no longer feel the lack that had me wanting.
If I want you to show me some respect, it’s because I’m looking for confirmation of my significance.
When I show you respect and notice its effect on you (and on me), I can no longer deny my significance and so I no longer need it confirmed by you.
If I want you to listen to me, it’s because I want my wisdom acknowledged and used.
When I listen to you - when I really listen - I am using my wisdom. And when I do, I cannot help but understand you better, become more connected to you, and learn more from you. In so doing, I recognize how wise I am to listen and that my wisdom is being used exactly as it should be. And then I no longer need my wisdom acknowledged or used by you.
If I want you to share the details of your day with me and tell me stories of your kindness in order to comfort me, its because I want you to counteract my worries about the effectiveness of my parenting.
When I do the work of constructing a comforting story of your day, I recognize that my discomfort is a function of the story I tell myself not the stories you fail to tell me and so I recognize that I am the source of my own worry and comfort and so I have no need to worry you about it.
If I want you to relax, it’s so that I can relax.
Why not just cut out the middle-man?
When I can find my own way to relaxation, I no longer need you to do it for me.
If I want you to show me that you see how good you have it, it’s because I want to live in a state of gratitude.
When I choose to notice and see for myself how good everything is, I become filled with the gratitude I’m seeking from you.
If I want you to stop lecturing me and just talk to me, it’s because I want you to love me as I am.
When I stop lecturing you (about who you should lecture - even if my lecture is just in my mind) and just talk to you, I teach myself to love people as they are, which allows me to love myself as I am, which releases me from concern about whether or not I’m being loved (or lectured).
If I want you to give me your attention, it’s because I want to connect with you.
When I truly give you my attention, I establish all the connection I’m seeking from your attention.
If I want you to show me love, it’s because I’m seeking love.
True love has no agenda but it’s own existence. When I honestly show you love, I create and experience all the love I’m seeking from you.
If I want you to use a gentle tone of voice with me, it’s because I want to remain calm as we’re communicating.
When I use a gentle tone with you, I calm myself and create the very environment within me that I’m seeking from your gentle tone of voice.
If I want you to think before speaking, It’s so my feelings don’t get hurt.
When I think before speaking, I recognize that it’s not words that unsettle me but the stories I tell myself about what I hear. When I recognize that, I recognize where my hurt is coming from and choose to think more generous stories before I speak.
If I want you to lighten up, it’s so I can lighten up.
Why not just cut out the middle-man and skip right to what I want?
If I want my body to stop hurting so my mind can rest, it’s time for my mind to stop hurting so my body can rest.
When I do that, I find that my body functions best without my mental interference, that when my mind is out of my body’s business, my body stops hurting.
The Golden Rule is nothing less than total power to make the world the way I want it to be. When I’m sane enough to apply it, I always find that the universe returns to balance immediately. I find that I am okay, that people are kind, that circumstances are endurable, that the world is on my side and that I am in perfect health.
What an incredible gift.