Very important question to answer when my mind poses it. My mind is prompting me to sort out something crucial.
If I am “the expert” or “the one who knows,” then I’m in for some suffering when my ignorance is exposed or my knowledge is questioned.
If I am “the nice guy” then I’m in for some suffering when my motives are questioned.
If I am “the helper,” then I’m in for some suffering when my contributions are found to be unhelpful.
If I am “the leader” then I’m in for some suffering when no one follows.
I can really get quiet and think about this question.
I’ll know I’m onto something when who I think I am brings me peace. If it presents me with stress, I’ll know I’m wrong about who I think I am and I can think again.
“I” am no one. ...is one option. Does that bring me stress or peace?
When I defend who I think I am it’s because I’m attached to my identity: I WANT to believe I am who I think I am. But if that identity can be called into question in my mind enough to get defensive, then I can sit with myself and question it for the love of truth. I can really ask myself, “Is that really who I am?” And, if I feel the need to defend it, I can be pretty sure that it’s not.
After years, I’ve found a couple answers that, for now, meet the criteria:
When I choose to be identified as a person…
“As far as I can tell, I am an imperfect, love-deserving human being doing the best they can with what they’re thinking and believing in this moment.”
And when have no practical need to wear an identity…
“I am no one at all.”